My Aussie dream Part 4 : English Vinglish!

English language was an integral part of my life from the time I started my education. My studies from kindergarten till the time I completed my CA was all English based. Thus, English has been like the first language to me. Even though Hindi was traditionally our mother tongue, we were encouraged to communicate in English from the beginning.

Thus, when I came to know that for the purpose of completing my Australian visa process I had to give an English exam, though it did hurt my ego knowing we were among the best English speaking countries in the world and still had to go through this torture, it was also something I knew would be a cake walk for me given English was kind of in my blood now.

But, after some profound discussions (read.. with nice profanities for the English exam) with my friends in Australia, I was advised……

“Keep your stupid ego aside of being an English pro and join some classes to get a hang of the exam structure as it was a 3 hours exam with 4 sections (reading, listening, speaking and writing)”

3 hours for an English exam????? It was beyond any reasonable sense as the university and professional exams used to be of 3 hours duration. Anyways, what they told after that made me convinced of taking those classes…..

“And also that each attempt costs INR 11,000 to appear for!!!! Would you want to pay that amount twice??”

3 hour exam duration or 4 sections didn’t convince me enough to get some guidance or classes than the amount of fee per attempt…. It was ridiculously expensive for an English exam. Shocking!!

And to think that I would have to give the exam again in case …. In the remotest situation that I failed in the first attempt and would have to pay INR 11,000 again was a scary thought (Obviously my Punjabi CA mind had started to work again!!).

So, to begin with I enrolled myself for the English exam with PTE and paid the fees (Sadly).

PS: Though while enrolling I did find that there was a discount coupon which provided me a discount of INR 2,000 on the fee, which reduced the pain a little!! Kudos to my partner for finding that out looking at my sad face while paying the fee!!!

In parallel, I also started to look for any institutes nearby my residence which gave guidance on the exam and its structure. I had never thought in my life that I would be taking classes at this stage of my life and that too for an English exam. I was very proud of my English speaking and written communication skills but the thought of failing in an English exam due to over confidence (I had already seen it break down a few days back, so didn’t want to take any chances now) and also the thought of repaying the fee paid for the exam, which as I said was a ridiculous amount for an English exam, forced me to take those classes and get familiarized with the exam format. My self-respect and bank account would not have liked taking a hit of failing an English exam, thus I searched the net for institutes offering these classes, and found one of the institutes near my house.

The coming weekend I decided to call the said institute and visit it to decide if it made the cut. I was very much interested to see if the institute provided any simulation for the test and the test environment as I knew cracking the 4 sections would not be a problem (over-confidence was still hovering around me!!). As it turned out this institute was providing the test simulation, so I zeroed in on the same and requested to start the classes ASAP as my English exam was 3 weeks down the line. I was enrolled in the next batch starting later that week for evening classes post my office timings.

My first few classes made it very clear to me that these classes would not be adding any value to me. The classes were all about elementary English (verbs, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, sentence formation etc etc.). Now I knew I had to take classes but sitting in these classes was a new low in my life. I had class mates who were confused in a “verb” and a “noun” or how to use “a” and “an” in a sentence and my teacher spent considerable time and energy explaining the same to those poor chaps. No offence to those people, everybody needs to start someday, but obviously it was not the place for me or my self-respect.

PS: One of the students was a wrestler from Punjab who wanted to migrate to “Canedda” to learn advanced wrestling and become a world champion. He would always be the first to reach the class after his wrestling practice and diligently do his “homework” before coming to the class. Though his English was what it was, his drive to learn really inspired me. I hope he did eventually clear his exam as he had already given it 5 times! God Bless!

I reminded myself that the purpose of these classes was for me to get familiarized with the format of the exam and simulate the exam conditions and not the actual learning of English (noun, verb…. Really!). So I talked to my teacher and politely excused myself from the classes which she agreed to looking at my "expertise" in English.

Further, with the CA mindset that I have, I tried asking for a discount on the tuition fee, since I would no longer attend classes for learning English, just go through the printed material and attend the test simulation sessions. My request was politely declined as my teacher once again welcomed me to join the classes and “sharpen my English skills”.

Well, I had to ultimately go ahead and pay the full fee.

The few simulation sessions that I attended before my actual exam did make it clear that it was not easy to clear this exam. The PTE guys had gone to great lengths to make the exam difficult to clear (so much for an English exam… seriously!). The “listening” section had slangs and accents from planet Pluto which were very difficult to repeat after listening to them only for a few seconds on a headphone. The response had to be provided within seconds of listening. Some tongue twisters in the “speaking” sections were not at all easy to get by and the “writing” sections had the requirement of writing an ideal essay on any topic as per a set standard (Introduction, discussion and conclusion).

Well, I could understand the requirement to understand accents in Australia, as English here is from a different continent…. Literally…. but where and what for would I be writing an essay once I migrated to Australia????? It did beat my logical thinking but then who could argue with the Visa authorities.

So, I kept on with my practice and brushed up my listening, writing, speaking and reading skills on the run up to my exam.

And finally the day arrived. The day of giving proof of my proficiency in English language. The day of the exam. Though here again my partner did drop her pearls of wisdom once again…

“Don’t get over confident… be calm and give the exam with a clear mind! And also, please keep your mobile phone on silent and in your pocket or somewhere where it doesn’t disturb you! Hope you have read all the instructions of the exam!”

I was not sure why she had mentioned about my mobile phone or reading the instruction as I thought it’s an English exam for god sake, not my CA paper. Why would there be restriction on mobile phones usage or any other ridiculous instructions like that?? Who in the world would cheat in an English paper?? It was already below my dignity to give an English exam in the first place, and then to think of cheating in it…. Not me my friend!!

So, as usual I bid good bye to her and left for the exam center.

At the exam center it was a different story!!

That's me in the middle!!! :-(

The exam center was like a mini army barrack. There were tiny cubicles with computers in a small claustrophobic room, which they choose to call the examination room.

I was asked to register and get my picture clicked and provide my finger prints. It didn’t feel like an English exam for sure!!!! Who provides finger prints for an English exam??? Felt like being booked in the police station for some offence!! Gosh!!

I was provided a small locker to keep my stuff as “nothing” was allowed inside the “exam center” apart from the personal stuff. Now, I had not read the instructions in the registration email (Which my dear partner had reminded me of BTW). The email had defined personal stuff which obviously I didn’t know.

The examiner there, a petite lady in her early 20’s, seemed nervous herself to say the least (maybe her first day at work). She showed me the way to the barracks and asked me to login.

So, I proceeded to sit in the exam “barrack” room on one of the allocated computers with my passport and my mobile phone in tow and rest of the stuff tucked away in the locker.

There I noticed that each seat had a CCTV camera installed right above it. Now, that was too much!! I thought to myself… CCTV camera…. Really??? For an English exam?? What was I about to give an exam for…. The secret service of the English department!!

Anyways, now that I was there, I couldn’t do much apart from keeping my passport and mobile phone right in the corner (had put my phone on silent as instructed by my partner) and started the exam as per instructions. The 3 hours flew by as I completed my exam, 10 minutes in advance. The English pro in me was very proud of the attempt and I said to myself..

“That was easy… one thing ticked off” :-)

I picked up my stuff from the “barrack” room (mobile phone and passport) and walked outside to collect other stuff from the locker and proceeded to say goodbye to the examiner to leave. While I was about to leave, the examiner gave me a worried look as if she wanted to say something, but didn’t. I thought maybe she was just confused about something, given her first day at work (as I had presumed earlier).

Once outside, I called my partner and proudly announced that the I would definately clear the exam and that that was one thing completed. Though she was happy, her wisdom again reared its head and she asked me to pray for a positive result which would normally be announced in next few days as per process and then we can celebrate. I said to her..

“Chill babes, this one is in the pocket”

The next few days went by in the anticipation of the exam result but the email with the result did not arrive. We both said to each other…

“Maybe there is some technical snag, the result will come soon”.

Another few days passed and still no trace of the result.

That’s when I decided to write to the PTE team. They were quick to revert with their response..

“We are looking into it and will revert within next 2 days”

Though that response didn’t help much, but we still waited patiently for their revert. And that’s when we were faced with our worst fear. We finally received their response and the email said…

This was exactly our reaction on reading the email!! :-(

The PTE team had withheld my result due to the breach of the exam conditions. I had carried my mobile phone into the “barracks” which I was not allowed to do. As such I would need to give the exam again and as a result would need to pay the fee again.

WHATTTTTTTT !!!!!! The email was a shocker to both of us!!

Well, the shock was more to me than to my partner as she had the “I told you so” look splattered all over her face. She had asked me to read the instructions in the email, which I had casually ignored thinking what can be so serious about an English exam. The same had come back to bite me in my bum now.

I was shattered!!!

I immediately wrote back to the PTE team requesting them to relook at the outcome as there was a CCTV in the “barrack” and that they could easily check that I didn’t even touch my mobile phone during the tenure of the exam. My mind was screaming inside….

“You idiots.. Do you really think I would cheat in an English exam????”

But I could not write that in so many words.

Sadly, their response was still the same. Exam conditions were clearly mentioned in the email and had to be followed to the “T”. Thus I had to sit again for the exam and pay the fee again.

The world came crashing down for me :-(

It took a while for me to reconcile with the situation as I was cursing myself to have lost this opportunity just because of not reading an email properly. But then there was no recourse available.

Hmmmm…Lesson learnt the hard way!!

So, moving on from there I re-registered myself for the exam and paid the fee again (got the discount voucher again though… the only saving grace of the situation) and set the date for the second attempt to the coming week as I was already prepared for the exam.

The next time I went for the exam after reading the exam registration email 10 times so as to not miss even a single word (not reading one line had costed me INR 11,000).

At the exam center I found the same examiner, the 20 something lady. I could not talk eye to eye with her. It felt as if more than her I was judging myself for being at the center to give the exam again.

After registration and completing the “police station” kind of formalities of providing my finger prints and getting the picture clicked, I was again allotted a locker. The first thing I did was to switch off my phone, stuff it inside my bag and put it in the locker.. far away from the exam "barrack" room.

As I proceeded to sit on my allotted seat in the barrack, I saw eye to eye in the CCTV camera and muttered some profanities to the PTE team in Hindi. I am sure they would have seen it but I had to do it to take out some of my frustration.

I began my exam once again with a vengeance and the exam went well as expected.

This time when I came out of the exam center I didn’t call my partner with the same enthusiasm and just informed her of the completion of the exam and that I was coming back. She was also intelligent enough to not rub it in more.

In the next 2 days my result was released.

I had cleared the exam and had got a high band in all the 4 sections. Yayyyy!!! I was officially a pro in English now!!

Nothing unusual or unexpected, I said to myself!!

My partner was happy too!!

As I informed the result to my teacher, she told that it was the highest that any student of her’s had ever got in an English exam.

Well, nothing unusual or unexpected is said to myself!!

I was later given to understand that my result was being used as a selling point by her to prospective student as well as for existing student to look upto! For the first time in my career this had happened to me and, it did have a feel good factor attached to it, even if it was only an “English” exam.

The high band would help me to bump up my points for the Visa application too, I was told by my visa consultant.

Well, the English exam hurdle was out of the way finally and the rest of the visa documents were well underway to the Australian visa authorities.

And so like this, the process was well in its advanced stages and the immediate next challenge in front of me was to prepare and plan for the departure to the aussieland. This included one major decision that we had to make, on which a lot of our things depended, which I will be talking about in the next post. Also, there was this equally important requirement to handle things at my job. And all this was based on the assumption that we got our visa approved.. phew!!

It was a big challenge and came with its own twists and turns, which is what you will come to know in my upcoming post.

So read on my friends!!!